WHY IT PAYS TO BE SELF-AWARE

SELF - AWARENESS PAYS OFF

You can have a wrong belief about yourself.

I used to believe I had little to offer. I didn’t think I was talented or smart enough. I was wrong. I’ve learned differently. God uses what you have and He grows it. 

You blossom under God's care.

 
THE PROBLEM

The problem surfaces when we are too focused on others’ so-called ‘perfect’ lives. We view others’ successes and accomplishments as better than our own. 

We can view ourselves as “less than.”

We begin to doubt ourselves when there are too many defeats and personal struggles. What we perceive as a failure and defeat may just be a closed door.

But it may be an opportunity for personal growth.

Zoom out and take a bird’s eye view of the whole matter. What do you see? Realistic expectations? Unrealistic expectations? Impatience? 

Are circumstances beyond your control?

THE SOLUTION 

 

Figure out what is true about the circumstance.

The simple formula is doable: learn, grow, and do your best. The requirement is to persevere, make wise decisions, plan ahead, and become resourceful.

Do the hard work and give it your best.

I’ll add one more essential for intentional Christians. Do what God shows, leads and provides. A good thing becomes a bad thing if God isn’t in it. If God says “Stop,” you know what to do.

Simply put, you stop and don't fret or question it.

You bloom where you are planted.

When Christianity Leaves a Void -- Intervention no. 7

 Why the Religious Thing Unravels

Finding God in the Daily

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, 

so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, 

work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 

for it is God who works in you, 

both to will and to work for his good pleasure. 

Philippians 2:12,13  ESV

God is in the life-changing business. What He does when we let Him minister to us is absolutely wonderful.

  
A SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP that is health-giving and health-receiving provides the impetus to live a genuine Christian life that has victory and power in its inner workings, its out workings, and in a satisfying, refreshing, and real way. However, this is not the case for many in the church.

The reasons for this phenomenon has to do with their spiritual life itself. If it isn't changing the person and isn't ministering to them in a life-giving way, then it is self-limiting and spiritual-limiting. This has consequences. Dullness, despair, and areas of unmet needs and unresolved issues begin to bog down weary Christians.

Those who do not function well within the church’s parameters may eventually abandon their faith or head in another direction. The church fails at times to address those troublesome gray areas. In particular, sometimes it fails to help those wounded by life or struggling with areas of bondage. They need something more than the church is offering. But sadly, the church is not equipped to help them. 

This is one of the flaws that trips up many a person and keeps them from returning to the "fold." The unfortunate side to this is when hurting people are convinced they may never measure up or be good enough to enter fully in the Christian community unless they attempt to pretend the part.

The equation of "being spiritual" with a list of specific spiritual behaviors is an end in itself--a performance-based Christian lifestyle. This can fall flat. As I have mentioned before, Christianity is not limited to salvation, obedience, service, prayer, bible reading and bible study, though, they are important spiritual disciplines and a Christian needs them and won't grow without them.

But there's more, and this is where all these other things sweeten the deal into a beautiful work of God. The Christian who desires to be alive and tender to the things of God seeks to grow and develop their relationship with Christ. This is where it's at and where the healing and promise of inner freeing begins.

This makes all the difference in
    how they live it,
           how they manage it, and
                how they are empowered to heal, grow, and thrive in it.

God is in the life changing business. He takes us, problems and all, and ministers to us. He holds up a mirror, with His illumination, He lets us see into our soul. We see the big picture--our scars, self-centeredness, lacks, strengths, and talents--and He helps us deal with them. God asks us to seek Him. When we do, it opens wide out. We begin to get real with God. We stop hiding and pretending. We take our salvation and spiritual life to a new level. It is wonderful! So very wonderful. I can't state how wonderful it becomes when our life with God becomes a warm and loving experience full of trust and joy.

Dear Father God, I want this sort of relationship for all my readers. May they know You, trust You, and abide in You. They will be blessed and enriched by Your loving Presence. Amen

To God be the Glory

A Message of Life.

Inspiration 45

The 'Quick Fix' Problem: Intervention no. 6

 The Quick-Fix Doesn't Always Take

Finding God in the Daily

 Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.

 Psalm 37:5  ESV

You can't do better unless you have a vision for what 'better' looks like. I discovered that we in the church are confused about our 'why.' That's what this intervention series is about.

SOME THINGS IN THE CHURCH seemed strange to me once I started paying attention without rose-colored glasses on. Sisters and brothers were falling away from faith. Why couldn’t they sustain their belief? The church thought they were rebellious. But were they? Looking back now, I realize some of these individuals, especially the ones that questioned, were not understood very well. There was more to it than was obvious at first blush.

People were seen as either in the camp or outside the camp. There was little gray area or room to debate areas of struggle. The many issues of questionable or wrong behaviors were lumped together and labeled as sinful behavior. Some were, but some were not. The common solution offered in most cases was to repent and get right with God. 

Somewhat like after the prodigal’s return, when a person did get right with God, there would be a return to the church, God, and God’s ways, as set forth by the church and based on biblical principles. It was assumed the prodigal would experience spiritual victory with a return to righteous, spiritual living. Such, was the logical conclusion. 

Though logical, it didn't always work out that way. People still struggled. Although the pattern for the faithful life was formulated with good intentions and valued for addressing truth as it relates to scripture, it had one major flaw. Better said, it had one glaring, missing component, a major lack within its parameters for living a victorious Christian life. The teaching didn't go far enough.

Some have stumbled upon the missing element, like I did. Others have found it as they drew closer and closer to the all knowing Source. Some continue on as they have have been taught, equating salvation, prayer, bible reading, bible study, and obedience as the express parts that make up the whole of Christian living. Yet, there still is that glaring defect. One only has to look around to notice a serious conundrum. The problem is, the formula doesn't work for everyone.

Too many stop short of going further still, because
     a) they aren't interested,
          b) they don't know it's possible, and
               c) they don't know how to get there.

That's the case I'm building here, day after day, post after post.

You will learn
      1. What the problem looks like in the Christian community.
          2. How to deal with it by using an evergreen solution.
               3. The joy and healing the solution produces in individuals,
                    communities, and globally.

That is what this is about. An intervention is curative. It uncovers why past practices don't work for everyone and it helps change it up. Your better spiritual life is not about doing things right or being a good person. It is about developing a personal relationship with God that is life-giving, healing, health building, gracious, intimate, and real.

More tomorrow.

Dearest Father. Thank you for giving us this message of hope. Amen

To God be the Glory

A Message of life.
Daily Inspiration 44

Swimming Upstream: Intervention, no. 2 -- Inspiration 41

Swimming Upstream without a Paddle

Finding God in the Daily

 But how can a man be in the right before God? 

Job 9:10. ESV

Your Christian experience is good but not great, but you really want it to be great and not just 'good enough.' Is the problem with you, with God, or with your spiritual life?

WHO ARE WE FOOLING? Life as a Christian isn’t all that easy, is it? We think we know how it should be. We parrot the lingo. The clichés abound. Just give it to God. Living the abundant life. God wants us to be happy. Trust the Lord and everything will be okay . I KNOW this is God’s will (this one is especially bothersome). But it doesn't seem to pan out that way. It is irksome when personal experience fails to match spiritual belief.

Christians often ignore the fact that for them spiritual living is empty. That would mean they'd have to admit there is a problem. This troublesome scenario indicates the problem is with them, or worse, there is a problem with their belief system. Aren’t Christians supposed to be happy and victorious? Hm. Yes, they should be. This is true.

This gets a little uncomfortable and hits too close to home. (I’ve been watching what's going on, and I’ve been on both sides of the equation. Something is going on.) More often than not, people's conversations express their true truth and thinking about the matter. Not all is well. It is easy to find fault with the way it is, and rightly so. 

 Christians are swimming upstream without a paddle. 

When it's not going as well as they expect, when the internal dialogue gives way to the negative, when struggles and conflicts slow them down or are at cross-purposes, discouragement or denial sets in. Such is common to human experience. But why does it have to be so hard? they ask. The real reason escapes them.

Could it be that something else is contributing to the mismatch of belief versus experience?

Could there be a reason for the hollow sound in the clichés, when the talk fails to match the walk? Something is amiss. The need for a change in perspective or for a Spirit led, soul-changing intervention suggests a roadblock is ahead and a choice is in front of them. Their spiritual path will come to a Y.  A choice is upon them that may well determine their spiritual destiny.

Good news! They are right where they need to be. God is ready to intervene. He has a plan, and He has the tools. May the soul-changing intervention begin. Now comes the uniting of  human self with the holy Triune God whereby forcing an end to mediocre spirituality. Let the journey commence. Straight ahead the adventure awaits. Hang on . . .

To God be the Glory

Your Crazy World -- Inspiration 31

When Life Gets Complicated

Finding God in the Daily

 But be ever mindful of the days gone by in which, 

after you were first spiritually enlightened, 

you endured a great and painful struggle.

Hebrews 10:32

Life gets complicated very quickly sometimes. Usually we aren't prepared for the unexpected. Rather than wallow in your despairing, one has an opportunity to repair, get their bearings, revive and rejuvenate; and they become stronger than they were before the incident.

HOW DO YOU MAKE SENSE of your world when it is seemingly spinning out of control?  Pretty hard stuff comes on a frequent basis. The situation can be looked at subjectively or objectively. Objectivity shows what is going on. It is like taking your temperature. The reading on the thermometer tells the truth, if there is a fever or not. Similarly, a person looks at the factors in their life. If they're "sick" they will have to remedy the situation, take care of it and do whatever is necessary to remediate "fix" the issue.

On the spiritual side, when life gets crazy the situation needs to be stabilized. Acknowledging the chaos is not enough. Take action. It may take prayer, fortitude, counseling, and common sense. God is the 'go to' entity in this case. His Word has answers. He has answers. His people have answers. Spiritual resources provide help. Best of all is when the individual is able to get a handle on things by going to God and asking Him to show them what they need to know. God provides the strength to manage it, the necessary provision to abide for their needs during the difficulty and the endurance it takes until they are stabilized and secure.

Many of God's answers come in waves, in piecemeal, over the course of time, and not as immediate, one time solutions. The struggle's solution may take days, months, or years. It may require great patience on the inside and major trust in God on the outside. Once on the other side of the issue, they can look back and see how they've grown and bloomed as a person. God is faithful.

Dear Jesus, we don't always know how to go on. We get confused and discouraged. Life is so complicated. Help us with our problems. Show us the way. Thank you for hearing us and giving us solutions. We love You. Amen.

To God be the Glory

Problem: Alone and Defeated: Answer: Ask God

We were new facebook buddies exchanging an occasional private message. Then one evening her words spoke of despair. They concerned and saddened me. I tried to think of what I could say to her but so little did I have to offer, feeling like I was out of my element. I did some introspection, thinking of what I do when despair surrounds me and gloom overtakes me. I began to share my thoughts. 

*  *  *

Her cry in the dark ... I'm losing hope---
"I've been walking this path alone all of my life. It is just me and God wrestling this one out. I'm just tired. Defeated. Losing hope."

 

My response ... You are not alone---

"I have an assignment for you. (!) Ask God to give you a verse or a song that will help you today. He knows your heart and He will give you something you can anchor yourself with today. When life is too much and I'm in the middle of something and I don't know what to do, I will send up a prayer like this. Dear God, send me a verse or a song today that will help me. I need peace today. God usually will give me a thought later in the day. Then I meditate on it all day, or many days, dissecting each word and what it means. My friend, God is enough even when the world crashes in around you. He will get you through this, someway somehow. I will pray hope for you today. When hope is dim, life becomes hard. I've experienced loss of hope and its painful reality. Please know this, I care. I will follow through in praying strength and endurance for you. Joy comes in the morning. Just you and God. Maybe this is a healing time. Hold onto Him for dear life. There is nothing wrong in that. 

May God bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you." N.L.B.

* * *

Maybe this is you. Is your heart sad? Do you feel despair eating you from the inside out? I want you to know that with this blog post I am saying a prayer for you. That God will meet you with his love and care, and that you will know that hope remains. There is always hope. Do not despair. Things will get better. God listens to the brokenhearted and he meets us where we're at. 

God bless you, my friend.

Norma 

~A True Life Happening                       All Rights Reserved

COURAGE NEEDED: Going to Court and a Custody Battle

He and I sat on opposite sides in the courtroom.

A day spent together hiking in the outdoors that eventful summer.

Here again. Different venue, but our tangle of emotions alive, sizzling, tense. The memories re-surfaced. We had been at a similar place eight years before, across from each other, lawyers by our sides; the dismantling of our twenty-one years of marital togetherness in the final stages of legal due process. Its finality undeniable. Unwelcome. His lawyer, my lawyer, and documents and legal agreements. He and I were polite, courteous, civil. My attorney had voiced surprise at our calm agreeable treatment of each other. We weren't the arguing type. Never had been. It had seemed strange that day, my mate across from me, not sitting by my side ... when in my mind were still joined as "one." My heart was cleaved in two during the proceedings and the events preceding his choice to exit our marriage and family unit. That had been hard, terribly hard for me. I had believed our marriage could be saved up until the moment of its death. An army of Christian family and friends had prayed for me that day. I had needed their prayers most desperately. 

Here we were again. Yes. Time and circumstances had changed me in the years between. He really had no clue as to how much I had grown in all areas of my life. Difficult growth but positive in every way. My emotional support group, prayer warriors, were at it again. How much I needed their prayers. I felt weak. The darkness was waging war with my family. The pain was back. The process of healing had taken years of repair, not yet complete. Why did we need to come back to this hurting place? It was hard to revisit its turmoil. The wicked darts of emotional warfare were touching all of us: my grown children, young daughter, my ex and me. 

The spiritual battle had descended. We were conflicted over the custodial arrangements for his and my youngest daughter who was twelve at the time. She was wanting to live with him in a neighboring town, no longer with me. When I resisted this plan, words were said. He felt I had turned our children against him. That stung. It was not true. I had  encouraged them to keep the door open. But this scenario was unexpected. I couldn't imagine it as being a good thing for her. After much prayer and advice, I knew that I must get in the fray. I hate conflict. It goes against my nature and beliefs. But, there are times you have no choice, not one you can live with anyways, you know you must take action.

 Quotes are from my book, The Meeting Place.

QUOTE: "My youngest child doesn't want to live with me any longer. The father of my children and my child announced this to me after sixth-grade graduation. It was stated as a fact, as if it had already been decided as a done deal. I was calm but inwardly felt devastated. I spent the week talking with people who have been through things like this, and I talked with others, like the school psychologist and my minister, getting their input and perspective before making my decision whether to agree or not agree to a change of primary custody. I never thought this would happen.

The court battle was upon me. I would be brave, courageous, meeting the challenges. But how to? I didn't wish to hurt him or to set off a negative chain reaction. I had never learned to stand up for myself. He wouldn't expect it of me. It would anger and hurt him. I knew his vulnerabilities. I would speak up for my daughter's sake. Fear. I was afraid. I knew what I was facing. And I knew it would not be well-received. I had become the enemy in this drama. The conflict was causing tension in my daughter. She and I were now at odds, unable to function as should a mother and daughter. Her opinion of me had altered. I was on the "outs." No longer was I able to speak freely, my authority compromised. Things I would say to her were no longer kept between the two of us. I became "suspect" in my own home. Scary and uncertain was this path. It was tense for me. My closest friends were like medicine, listening to me as I tried to figure it out.

My Pastor kept tabs. He heard my hurting heart after I told him about some negative communications that my ex husband had been saying about me to my older children. My four oldest were in varying stages of reacting, taking it in different ways, some in silence, others in words of pain. None of it good. This was upsetting to me. They were being put on a side. It was from the Enemy. His presence was all over it. I knew this. I could see it and feel it. My wish had been to begin a ministry to help hurting people. I had prayed the "Prayer of Jabez" about this desire of my heart. I was beginning to formulate a plan of action. Now I was side-lined into a place where I did not know the right way to proceed. I did know that most of all I wanted to do it God's way. How to do it His way, and also stand up for my daughter's future, was a mystery to me. I am a peace-maker, less a warrior.             

QUOTE: "My pastor gathered people to pray for me after the morning service yesterday.  Before the service started he asked me if this would be okay.  He was aware of the turmoil and comments directed at my adult children and me. Then, at the conclusion of the service, he mentioned the situation and that my family was in need of prayer. He invited those who knew our family and would like to pray to come to the front. I sat on a chair, and they gathered in a circle around me. He briefly explained my situation and cautioned them—that in joining in the spiritual battle by praying for me and my family, they could also expect spiritual warfare in their own lives.

Many prayed, some with tears in their voices. Two who prayed, a young man who is a father of two and a young woman who is a mother of one, both were peers with my oldest two children and knew them growing up in the church; prayed specifically for my four grown children. The young man stayed after to hug me; he said my sons are like brothers to him. I could tell he felt emotion. As people prayed a warmth cascaded around and through me; I could feel the light touch of someone’s hands resting on my shoulders. I felt that many were remembering back to years before, when our family unit of good standing came apart in their midst, and my children and I suffered such deep hurt.

After they were done praying, I told everyone, “I feel loved.” I've never been prayed for in that way before. They love my child, my older children, and me. Two sweet friends gave me hugs, and they spoke with sad voices. I told one friend I had been hoping for healing in my kids lives this summer, but instead it’s been more pain. She said, “God can use this.” How wonderful to be prayed over. What a blessing; the prayers spoke to every area that need speaking to—and with charity toward my ex-husband. Amazing. Before the circle prayer, some who couldn’t stay told me they are praying, and I know they will."

Oh, beautiful, loving friends of God. You came in when I needed the extra measure of courage and stout-heartedness. You loved me when I needed so much to be loved. Standing with me. Holding my hands. Trusting Jesus for the outcome. You went with me as I entered the fiery furnace. You cared about all of us and were kind and nonjudgmental. Thank you. You were real love to me.

QUOTE: "Two days ago I faced a giant. The giant came in the form of facing my ex in court and facing the fear and intimidation it represented for me. I had to present things that would not set well, and I knew it. Courage. I had to pull up the courage to say what needed to be said without losing my dignity and soft-spoken way. I had to confront my own timidity and fears before I could speak the words I knew I needed to say. The prayers of God’s people supported me as I walked into that room. My twelve-year-old daughter’s destiny held in the balance. The verse God gave me this time was, “The battle belongs to the Lord”; such true words. Emotional, critical-to-life thoughts drain me.

Terms of the agreement documented a change in primary custody. My daughter moved to her father's home. My "win" was the agreement for her to attend a private Christian school in my town. It was something I pushed for as a safe-guard for her. I felt grief the days and weeks following her exodus. I worried about her. I continued to walk on egg-shells when she was with me on my weekends. A darkness seemed to hover. She reacted to almost anything I would say. Over time the scene began to change. She started spending more time at my home after school, a mid-week overnight, playing the piano, scarfing down my home-made meals, less defensive, more talkative. I did some changing. Lots of soul-searching and a reassessment of my parenting. God took me to a new level of trust.
 

Piano recital that spring.

And, I realized a true fact, she really just wanted to have a dad. She had no memory of him living with us and I had never remarried. She needed a dad, and more attention to her needs. I had been so busy with teaching school, farming, and church, that her needs were not being met. Especially, her need to be heard. I was forced to reevaluate my busyness.

Going to court is hard. We both want to raise our children. I learned something amazing from the experience. God helped me see His faithfulness as he protected my child and cared for her when I could not be with her. The tide changed again eighteen months later. We faced it with a peaceful resolution.

Amazon Book Link is HERE

QUOTE: The Meeting Place: "The sun is setting after a week of dampness. My heart is full of happiness. God has answered my prayer. My baby, my little girl, my sweet daughter has chosen to return to my care. It has been a sorrowful road, but today she decided for sure. Soon she will live with me again. I had to come up here to mark the joy in my heart and thankfulness now that is mine. Her father called yesterday. He was so pleasant, kind, courteous, different. He seems more aware, even wished me luck on the house I made an offer on yesterday. He said I deserved it, and he hoped I would get it. Wow. I still feel stunned.

QUOTE: 'Thank you, Jesus. Thank you with my whole heart. Thank you for my daughter, for my ex, and his willingness. I praise you, I adore you, magnify you, glory in you. Praise be to God for his amazing grace and ever-faithful ways. During joyless weeks, I found my true joy in you, dear Father God. So blessed by your presence I have been. You moved so quickly after an eighteen-month wait—a long time in which I learned to find my rest in you. You alone give rest in the midst of emotional and physical crises in my life. How good you are to me. Your comfort fills me. ... I wish more people had eyes to see your beauty."

We learn through all of life's experiences. How glad I am that God gives me what I need when the battle is upon me. I am also grateful for the times when the battle is over, when I can look back and see the goodness of God that kept and helped and interceded during the trial and times of woe. Praise Him! ....                                      

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