A universal need in all people is the need to be wanted. Performance often masquerades as acceptance when the outcome is equated with a perception of being wanted. The desire to be wanted for who you are is something most humans crave and expect. And why not? Everyone should be wanted and deserves to be wanted.
A conflicted message from others will cause them to ask a telling question of themselves, when their sense of ‘being wanted’ is in doubt. “Does that person ‘want,’ ‘like’ or ‘love’ me for who I am? Or do they ‘want,’ ‘like,’ or ‘love’ me for what I do, look like, provide, or financially support?”
Bottom line, people want to be wanted for who they are, period.
Relational structures as in family, professional, or intimate, that withhold acceptance until it is earned, that insinuate acceptance is conditional--that portray a person’s value is arbitrary, granted more to some and less to others--create an unhealthy tension within its ‘perceived’ lesser-valued and lesser-wanted members. Thoughtless, unkind words and actions that attack a person’s vulnerable, inward sense of self can deftly destroy the recipient’s self-image. These negatives, comment by comment, erode fragile personhood and imply ‘you’re not-good-enough’ conceptual beliefs about self.
To meet this very deep need within the self, to know they are wanted, loved, and valued, can cause the emotionally injured to go to extreme lengths to find it. Even then, it may not deliver. People devoid of nurturing love or positive human bonding, having been denied the basic components of meaning, value, and self-worth, squirm under a self-imposed deficit outlook. The negative perception remains until they are able to see it for what it is. Then they are able to work at undoing the damage by repairing their leaky love tank and deficit self-perceptions. They can rewire their negative self-talk. Progress is made when these individuals are able to accept, receive, and sustain love without doubt, suspicion, or fear. Emotional traumas heal slowly, but they do heal.
But first, one must want it.
You can heal, become whole, and thrive. It takes time, intention, and focus. God helps us in this. He gives us grace. Burdens are lifted. Troubles are remediated. Life is given. Repentance is our responsibility. God gives us what we need when we need it. It is important to humble ourselves before the Lord. We won't have spiritual healing unless we desire God with our will and being. He is not fooled by false supplication. "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." Entreat your heavenly Father and He will draw near to you.
It keeps getting better and better from that point on. You are loved, wanted, and cherished by the God of the universe. He takes a personal interest in you. Trust him with your life. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. He saves sinners. Redeems lives. Mends hearts. Sets people free.
