Thursday, February 13, 2014
The Effects of Loss and What to Do About It.
Loss affects all of us. It is one of those hard things you can't deflect. It comes when it comes. There is no stopping it. The effects of loss crowd into our lives like unwelcome intruders, sabotaging our happiness in sad, hurtful, confusing, difficult-to-deal-with ways. Lost love is a particularly painful loss. It hits hard: separation, divorce, abandonment, relationship break-ups, rejection, dementia, and death. Some losses take a toll in our personal lives. We lose jobs and positions, status and reputation. We lose our innocence, health, finances, possessions, family, and friendships.
When loss occurs, we are forced to make a choice. What will we do with the bad that just happened to us? Will we meet it head-on, or will we run from it? To be healthy in our emotions after a loss requires that we become proactive in our response to it. The emotion must be figured out, the hidden message we have believed about ourselves (or others) as a result of the loss, that has undermined our steps and brought us to a screeching halt. The feelings of blame or regret, anger or bitterness, towards others, self, or God.
The pain of loss is strong. Because of this, the cure or remediation will take time, effort, and determination. One must not hide, live in denial, bury or shield the pain. One must choose a better thing, choose life and healing, and another new day. Loss, of any kind, has a grieving period attached. It takes time to sort through the thoughts and feelings associated with the loss. To deny this, is to shut down one's emotions, an unhealthy way of coping. Moving forward, as we deal with loss, will come as we look for answers, solutions, and find them.
If you are in the middle of a personal crisis that has loss attached, I want you to know that you will make it. Do not despair. The sun will rise again. A new day will be yours. Joy comes in the morning. You will find your new path. It may take hours, days, months, or years ... but you will find your way to happiness once again. Join me and many others who have crawled out of the pit, who have been side-lined many times by a curve ball from out of no-where, and chose to hang on to hope for dear life ... and it delivered.
Valentine's Day is a hard day for many of us. Be encouraged, anyways. Find your hope. There is always hope. You can count on it.
#loss #healing #hope #grief #emotions, #grieving, #pain , job loss, relationship loss