THE LOVE GAME: LOVE IS AS LOVE DOES

Do you remember falling in love? 

 

LOVE IS?

Emotions of love speak joy to the heart. Happiness comes when you're wanted, loved, and desired, when you're treated with warmth, kindness, affection and deference. You know if you have this or don't have this in a relationship. It's pretty sweet when you do. It's pretty painful when you don't.

Cherished moments are the stuff of dreams come true.

Dreams do come true, that is, when the cherished moments last. All sorts of dynamics are at play in the love game and some aren't about love at all. Those who surf from partner to partner are hunting for the next thrill . . . but? Deep inside they might be looking for a place to belong, unbeknownst to them. 

Some individuals have emotional gaps they're trying to fill. They're looking for others to meet that need (codependency fits here).

They want to be needed and need to be wanted. This is true for many of the wounded. They want to know they matter. That's a reasonable expectation. But it's going to take work. You need to become healthy first. Solution: Work on your 'self stuff' first, then a relationship.

The healthier you are emotionally the more you will be able to sustain a relationship.

Some fall in love and then fall out of love. Dissatisfaction sets in; disinterest grows. The giddy feeling evaporates. They close down and retreat. Truth: It wasn't love at all. It was a facsimile of love. 

Solution: Couples that build a relationship to last, a relationship that grows closer and remains strong, their relationship will endure the test of time.

Love is key to making a relationship thrive. It also helps when the individuals are committed to each other and dedicated to relationship maintenance--its preservation depends on their commitment to it.

No marriage or relationship is doomed when both people in it are committed to its success. 

Spiritual context provides a secondary component that draws couples together. Those who are close in their spirituality are extra fortunate in that they add a spiritual connection of love with loyalty attached. 

This added dimension--spiritual communing--sweetens the connection.

The real deal, true love, is not fickle or fake. 

Suggestion: Take inventory: some behaviors are nonnegotiables, like physical or mental abuse.  If you're already in a dysfunctional relationship, if you're keeping score and see the partner as disengaged or not in it with you, then you are between a rock and a hard place. You can only change yourself. Start taking care of you and your mental health. Blaming will not help you. Be wise, be careful, work hard, grow, heal, move forward, believe you have a future. Trust God and seek help. There are people who will help you.