Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Deed is Done
I think of the road less traveled. Like Robert Frost, I have come to the fork in the road and am venturing on a path less certain, more fascinating and sure-to-be more adventurous. Leaving the safe secure path of finishing my career as a teacher in a small school district, is a major life-changing decision especially since it is not a fiscally smart step for my future life. I have said to my friends, this will either be the best decision I've ever made or the worst. One can only hope it is the "best".
Many factors came into play that made this a decision that took at least two years to make. I think back to my frustrations and discontent with my daily employment situation. As much as I tried, it never was what I wished it to be or thought it could be which is not a good thing. Yet, I am not one to believe work has to be rosy to be right nor that God only gives us the positive, for that is not a realistic appraisal of
the human experience. But, a growing unrest has been decidedly gnawing at me, a voice that wouldn't be silenced day in and day out. Also, there is an eagerness to chose a different path before the years become too many and the age-factor impedes the possibility. I don't think I'm a Grandma Moses.
As I write this, I am weary, tired, and exhausted. Depleted, may be the operative word that fits exactly as the perfect adjective describing my condition. Why would anyone want to continue in such a state? Invigorated, is the word that I hope will be the adjective to describe me as I seek a new direction and sense of person-hood. There is so much in me that wants to learn and do and write and be, and hopefully when that person is released, it will be without drawing too much attention to myself in the process. It's really not about me, for most of it pertains to being a better servant to the God I love. How so? I'm glad you asked!
One must be spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually fit. Some of these areas I've neglected. Others I've had little time for. And a couple of them I've been cultivating, the seeds have been planted, sprouted, and are growing, hopefully to maturation in due season. Much more needs to be done of course, and the time seems short. Besides the pursuing of these areas in my life, I want to laugh more and fill my life with joy and beauty. I'm tired of being so serious and boring! How? In my way of thinking, I think the first step is to let negativity go, next-to seek the greater good, and then-mix it with finding wonder in the little things of life. In the spirit realm, make "ask", "seek", and "knock" a daily vital part of life.
There are some dreams that come with this new venture on the road of life. I'd like to spend a month cloistered in a retreat that follows Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. Although I'm not catholic, I believe God could use this time in spiritual prayer and supplication to turn me inside-out in a positive way. Another area I'd like to pursue is theophostic training to help me become better equipped for spiritual counseling, a technique where God does the revealing and healing and the counselor is the praying agent who comes alongside and supports. I have found that people open up to me and trust me with their issues, yet I have a need to know how to better assist those who talk with me. What else? Spend a few weeks in Colorado with my grandchildren and kids every few months >>> Heaven!!!! Take some time for my friends>>>YES!!! Start working on a healthier me. :) And watch more fun movies with Glorianne, and take more scenic trips just because I want to. Most of all, developing the areas that are in my heart and blood, both in writing and service.
Let the adventure begin!!!